I haven't written in awhile.....it's over and I'm struggling.
I miss him. Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day. I miss him. I miss how he feels, how he smells, how he kisses, his presence- everything. Our conversations. All of it.
I heard a Tracey Chapman song on Pandora that had me bawling like a child.
"The Promise"
If you wait for methen I'll come for youAlthough I've traveled farI always hold a place for you in my heartIf you think of meIf you miss me once in awhileThen I'll return to youI'll return and fill that space in your heartRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youIf you'll be waitingIf you dream of melike I dream of youIn a place that's warm and darkIn a place where I can feel the beating of your heartRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youIf you'll be waitingI've longed for youand I have desiredTo see your face your smileTo be with you wherever you areRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youPlease say you'll be waitingTogether againIt would feel so good to beIn your armsWhere all my journeys endIf you can make a promiseIf it's one that you can keepI vow to come for youIf you wait for meAnd say you'll holdA place for mein your heart.
It's so painful. I love him. It takes everything I have not to email him everyday. I hope it gets easier with time. I think I need to start coming back to this site more often to read the words of the betrayed.
I heard a Tracey Chapman song on Pandora that had me bawling like a child.
"The Promise"
If you wait for methen I'll come for youAlthough I've traveled farI always hold a place for you in my heartIf you think of meIf you miss me once in awhileThen I'll return to youI'll return and fill that space in your heartRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youIf you'll be waitingIf you dream of melike I dream of youIn a place that's warm and darkIn a place where I can feel the beating of your heartRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youIf you'll be waitingI've longed for youand I have desiredTo see your face your smileTo be with you wherever you areRememberingYour touchYour kissYour warm embraceI'll find my way back to youPlease say you'll be waitingTogether againIt would feel so good to beIn your armsWhere all my journeys endIf you can make a promiseIf it's one that you can keepI vow to come for youIf you wait for meAnd say you'll holdA place for mein your heart.
It's so painful. I love him. It takes everything I have not to email him everyday. I hope it gets easier with time. I think I need to start coming back to this site more often to read the words of the betrayed.
Replies
I am so sorry....
on a spiritual level I wish for the piece of mind and strength for you.
on a more down to earth level I wish that something happened, something that would allow you to see him for who he truly is. The it would be easier for you to let go of him, or rather of your idealized image of him. It makes me think of Scarlett O\'Hara and how after years and years of hopelessly and incredibly loving Ashley, risking her marriage, reputation and best friend for her love she finally understood that she fell in love with the vision of him that she created and when she could have him, she didn\'t want him anymore and she didn\'t find him attractive.
He is not who you think he is. I wish you could stop idealizing him. It would ease the pain, let more anger in and allow you to move forward. I hope you will find peace soon.
Peace of mind fcol
I\'m with jay. I have often been thankful that I got to see the Om for what he really was. If I had not, I would have felt I lost a treasure. In fact, I was lucky to get out with my sanity and family intact.
You WILL get through this. I promise.