I have to forgive myself.
I was talking to one of my friends recently. I opened up to her and told her about my rape. I told her how closed off and cold I am to men now that I'm trying to date again. She said, "Do you know why your doing that?" I said, "not really, no". She said, "because when it happened, your mother and your friends said to you, how could you have let this happen, your stronger than that, why didn't you fight back? And now your so determined it won't happen again, that your always on guard now and closed off. You haven't forgiven yourself, because you blame yourself for letting it happen."
That was a huge Ahh ha moment for me. It seems so obvious now. But I didn't really think about it that way. Shes absolutely right. I haven't forgiven myself, and I just recently started the process of not blaming myself, and I think that's the first thing I need to do to forgive myself.
That was a huge Ahh ha moment for me. It seems so obvious now. But I didn't really think about it that way. Shes absolutely right. I haven't forgiven myself, and I just recently started the process of not blaming myself, and I think that's the first thing I need to do to forgive myself.
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