I have to do this
This is something that I have to do, if i dont leave my husband, i know i will be miserable for the rest of my life, and who wants to live that way, not me! I'm so sick of the constant put downs and controlling behaviour. I think after 32 years of life I am able to make my own decisions and be able to do my own thing without being put down for it. I am a responsible adult with a child, I am a good mother, I am a good person, I deserve better than this. My son deserves better than this and deserves a life of happiness and to be stress free, he deserves to be a kid, to make noise, to yell, to scream, to run around and make noise, to cry because he's a kid!!!!!!
My love for my son is going to get me through this and is going to be my fighting force in making a better life for us. I need to stop thinking about what he wants and how he feels and trust my feelings and intuition and know that this life is wrong and not good for any of us. It is his fault if he is hurt, or depressed or whatever he feels, I am not responsible for him. I am responsible for me and my son and our happiness and our life and it is damn well going to be a good one!
I have had enough of this shit! I am a good person, I will be a good person, I will not be transformed into a bitch because of him and I will beat this, I will be the person i am meant to be and not take my anger and resentment out on other people, this has to stop!
I hate my life and that is no way to live, I love living, I love life and I love sharing it with my son. He is my light, he is my life and we will have the life we deserve, now just to find the courage, the strength, and take those few steps and get the hell out of this hell i'm living in!
Few things he has said to me lately, I do not make good decisions regarding my son, I should not get a tattoo on my arm because I would be an embarrassment, white trash and look like a carnie and he wouldn't be able to take me out to a restaurant because he will not be seen with someone with tattoos all over, mind you i will have a total of 5! Fucker, get out of my head, this is my life, I will live it how I want and if you don't like it, go F yourself, my life, my choices, never again will a man determine how i do things, never again!
My love for my son is going to get me through this and is going to be my fighting force in making a better life for us. I need to stop thinking about what he wants and how he feels and trust my feelings and intuition and know that this life is wrong and not good for any of us. It is his fault if he is hurt, or depressed or whatever he feels, I am not responsible for him. I am responsible for me and my son and our happiness and our life and it is damn well going to be a good one!
I have had enough of this shit! I am a good person, I will be a good person, I will not be transformed into a bitch because of him and I will beat this, I will be the person i am meant to be and not take my anger and resentment out on other people, this has to stop!
I hate my life and that is no way to live, I love living, I love life and I love sharing it with my son. He is my light, he is my life and we will have the life we deserve, now just to find the courage, the strength, and take those few steps and get the hell out of this hell i'm living in!
Few things he has said to me lately, I do not make good decisions regarding my son, I should not get a tattoo on my arm because I would be an embarrassment, white trash and look like a carnie and he wouldn't be able to take me out to a restaurant because he will not be seen with someone with tattoos all over, mind you i will have a total of 5! Fucker, get out of my head, this is my life, I will live it how I want and if you don't like it, go F yourself, my life, my choices, never again will a man determine how i do things, never again!
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