I have reached a mile stone.
I have come to a bitter sweet place it appears.
It is approx. 4 1/2 years since my beautiful Ami left this earth. In this time I have set about doing my best to be supportive of the 3 lovely children left behind. It has been a huge struggle as I have had catastrophic tinnitus, dizziness and hyperacusis. It is all still there but now i can live along side it and most days be fine. What a wonderful word 'fine' is. It is the month of May and my oldest grand-daughter Marisa is graduating from high school. It has been such a treat to help her pick out her grad gown, buy the cinderella 4 inch heels, order the hair extensions, consult a make-up artist, arrange for a limo and much more! Next Saturday afternoon I will be hosting a BBQ for her Grad. I am cleaning and shining and arranging and having so much fun. Ami is part of this process living inside my heart and enjoying it all...and now i am crying, wishing with every fibre of my being that she could just appear, just for a while, just for a lifetime..I love you my girl.
mommy
It is approx. 4 1/2 years since my beautiful Ami left this earth. In this time I have set about doing my best to be supportive of the 3 lovely children left behind. It has been a huge struggle as I have had catastrophic tinnitus, dizziness and hyperacusis. It is all still there but now i can live along side it and most days be fine. What a wonderful word 'fine' is. It is the month of May and my oldest grand-daughter Marisa is graduating from high school. It has been such a treat to help her pick out her grad gown, buy the cinderella 4 inch heels, order the hair extensions, consult a make-up artist, arrange for a limo and much more! Next Saturday afternoon I will be hosting a BBQ for her Grad. I am cleaning and shining and arranging and having so much fun. Ami is part of this process living inside my heart and enjoying it all...and now i am crying, wishing with every fibre of my being that she could just appear, just for a while, just for a lifetime..I love you my girl.
mommy
Replies
I so understand the bitter and sweet. You are a super fabulous Grandmother, despite all the challenges. And you still make time to walk with me. I know you will have a wonderful celebration and yes, Ami is planning right along with you!
Tight hugs and much love, M
Your journal is one of hope that this is what healing looks and feels like and that we each land at these turning points many times on this path I have discovered. A corner is rounded so to speak and we learn how to carry and to integrate our loss(es).
You are living life now and you have some fun things are you involved with and I know that Ami is right alongside of you in all the preparing.
Gentle care with your health issues and the tightest of heart (((hugs))).
XO Joanie
You sound so happy and looking forward to the graduation. I am sure that Ami is watching the preperations and is so proud of her mama. To be able to do all you are doing, while dealing with the terrible dizziness, is a miracle !! Love conquers all!!
(((HUGS))), Julia
Awww, how special you have made her graduation. I too wish Ami could appear but, stay aware she\'ll be with you in the most subtle way.
Gentle hugs, Debbie