i have been not so active for awhile

unfortunately still dealing with the grief process constantly, on top of that my husband admitted to then backed up and denied a porn addiction.....he is a porn addict internet is the only source i know of but he is lying all the time so who knows, i was working and several months ago fell out of the truck injuring my pelvis and ribs and still have bad pain from this....dont quite understand why.....I am so depressed i dont want to get out of bed, i dont want to be at work anymore, i feel completely alone in the world.....i feel like my only purpose is to finish tying up loose  ends, make sure things will be handled and just keep on working till i am dead....there iivs not enough money coming in there are too many bills and my husband says we should just live for each day money will come around some how....he is loosing his mind obviously.  I am seeing a counselor, but i am such a wreck and there are so many things to fix that i just cant handle it anymore.....why when i am working so hard to fix myself and handle everything else do things just keep going wrong?  i am so discouraged.