Thanks to my friends for your comments. I am not strong, I am not a survivor. I am told that but I don't want to be no more. I just want my son to be alive.
That is all.
Oh Sandi darling....I so know these feelings. It used to make me down right mad to have anyone tell me I was strong. I didn\'t feel strong. I didn\'t want to be strong. I just wanted Kala back, the way she was. I didn\'t want to have to be strong enough to not get that. It\'s so hard. It hurts so bad. I\'m not going to tell you anything right now beyond I understand, it all sucks, and I love you. Hugs, Teri
I have never been strong or a survivor so much in my life has hurt me so much, but you have to put on your happy face and everyone thinks your strong and a survivor. I love all you dear friends on here though. I would go totally nuts without you all
I understand exactly what you are saying. None of us wanted to be here. We just want our children back. Who in the world wants to be strong in this situation? Sandi
DEAREST SANDIE YOU DON,T HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR ANY ONE YOU MISS YOUR SON SO BEING STRONG RIGHT NOW IS NOT POSSIBLE. YOU ARE GETTING UP EVERY DAY AND DOING YOUR BEST TO KEEP GOING THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO . YOU SAID WHEN YOU THINK OF YOUR SON YOU CRY AND CRY AND THEN YOU FEEL SO TIRED AND BURNT OUT (THAT IS OK) LAY DOWN IF YOU CAN DO WHAT WVER YOU NEED TO DO. YOU OWE NOTHING RIGHT TO ANYONE, YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS HORRIBLE GRIEVING STAGES. I HAD TO TAKE MEDICATION AND STIL DO I DID,NT WANT TO LIVE, SO DON,T WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. LOVE CHARCO
I remember when people told me that I was strong. I just kept thinking don\'t they see how messed up I really am. I think eventually you become strong and you become a survivor. You just don\'t see it happening. You look back on it later and just know it was true. You are in my thoughts and prayers always. hugs j
I think it is actually said to help those that love us to feel better about how we are actually doing and feeling? If we are acting \"strong\" then they might not have to worry quite as much. It\'s all a part of this journey and I do believe that one day each of may look at ourselves in the mirror and see our warrior spirits. We can all have hope. Hugs to you and yes, I believe each of us have heard the \"strong\" word many, many times and sometimes it may feel affirming and others times like a nail scratching across a chalkboard. Big Sigh... Your friend, Joanie
You are probably stronger than you think but when you feel weak, lean on us here at FMO, that\'s why we have come together as a group. Truly, your friend, Barb
anyone who has lost a child is strong.. we are all different mourn differently but in the end we are the same we are without the one we love... take care friend..
I am so sorry today is so hard, I know every day is hard and our hearts are shattered but some days are worse then others. You do not have to be strong. I know people say \"Oh you are so strong you are doing so well\" It can be the mask we wear to get through the day, For me I know having my other three still at home {2 are in college still one in HS} helps me it gives me something to focus on something to do someone to take care of. Hang in there. Hugs to you Wendy
Replies
Oh Sandi darling....I so know these feelings. It used to make me down right mad to have anyone tell me I was strong. I didn\'t feel strong. I didn\'t want to be strong. I just wanted Kala back, the way she was. I didn\'t want to have to be strong enough to not get that. It\'s so hard. It hurts so bad. I\'m not going to tell you anything right now beyond I understand, it all sucks, and I love you. Hugs, Teri
I have never been strong or a survivor so much in my life has hurt me so much, but you have to put on your happy face and everyone thinks your strong and a survivor. I love all you dear friends on here though. I would go totally nuts without you all
I understand exactly what you are saying. None of us wanted to be here. We just want our children back. Who in the world wants to be strong in this situation? Sandi
DEAREST SANDIE YOU DON,T HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR ANY ONE YOU MISS YOUR SON SO BEING STRONG RIGHT NOW IS NOT POSSIBLE. YOU ARE GETTING UP EVERY DAY AND DOING YOUR BEST TO KEEP GOING THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO . YOU SAID WHEN YOU THINK OF YOUR SON YOU CRY AND CRY AND THEN YOU FEEL SO TIRED AND BURNT OUT (THAT IS OK) LAY DOWN IF YOU CAN DO WHAT WVER YOU NEED TO DO. YOU OWE NOTHING RIGHT TO ANYONE, YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS HORRIBLE GRIEVING STAGES. I HAD TO TAKE MEDICATION AND STIL DO I DID,NT WANT TO LIVE, SO DON,T WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. LOVE CHARCO
Thanks Charco2 and others who replyed to my journal
I remember when people told me that I was strong. I just kept thinking don\'t they see how messed up I really am. I think eventually you become strong and you become a survivor. You just don\'t see it happening. You look back on it later and just know it was true. You are in my thoughts and prayers always. hugs j
I think it is actually said to help those that love us to feel better about how we are actually doing and feeling? If we are acting \"strong\" then they might not have to worry quite as much. It\'s all a part of this journey and I do believe that one day each of may look at ourselves in the mirror and see our warrior spirits. We can all have hope. Hugs to you and yes, I believe each of us have heard the \"strong\" word many, many times and sometimes it may feel affirming and others times like a nail scratching across a chalkboard. Big Sigh... Your friend, Joanie
You are probably stronger than you think but when you feel weak, lean on us here at FMO, that\'s why we have come together as a group. Truly, your friend, Barb
Losing a child is the hardest thing ever...you will make it and you ARE strong...love and hugs...Karen
anyone who has lost a child is strong.. we are all different mourn differently but in the end we are the same we are without the one we love... take care friend..
I am so sorry today is so hard, I know every day is hard and our hearts are shattered but some days are worse then others. You do not have to be strong. I know people say \"Oh you are so strong you are doing so well\" It can be the mask we wear to get through the day, For me I know having my other three still at home {2 are in college still one in HS} helps me it gives me something to focus on something to do someone to take care of. Hang in there. Hugs to you Wendy
We all want our kids back . I know you say yuou are not strong and sometimes I am not either. Hugs, Inga