I hate this

Once again I am sick.  Once again I have fallen outside while doing normal stuff.  Thankfully this time when I fell I didn't really hurt myself but geesh when will it end.  I so tired of being sick and tired.  I feel horrible and really weak today like every step I take is  so much of an effort.  It almost feels like I did when my blood sugar numbers crashed and I was rushed to the ER.  But when I test my blood sugars they are high.  I finally today got them down to under 300 but just barely which makes it hell on my body.  When my blood sugar levels are high my pain level is high as well.  I have enough pain on my own.  Then to top it off bringing the trash can in from the alley yesterday I ended up falling.  This time I landed in grass instead of cement but never the less my body is letting me know it wasn't happy about that.  I feel crappy and miserable.  Got an appointment with my PCP tomorrow so hopefully something can be done about the feeling sick part at least.  I've been pushing the liquids the last few days and started sipping on broth today.  This evening I am feeling a bit better and hopefully by the time I see the doctor tomorrow I will be a lot better.  My only joy these last few days is watching my son play with the little baby kittens my cat had that are five weeks old now.  There are four of them and one of him it's really cute when they decided to tag team him and come at him from different directions.  I know that I am going to keep one of them for certain and possibly one other but the others I am going to have to find a home for.  Then the one(s) I keep along with their mommy are going to the vet to be fixed so we don't have more babies. Don't get me wrong they are cute and all but there are just to many cats and kittens in the world that people haven't gotten fixed and just tossed out into the world to fend for themselves. I just refuse to do that and while these babies are cute I really should have gotten their momma fixed when I first got her.  Every one of my other animals are fixed don't know why I didn't fix her.  But one of the babies has just filled the whole my heart has felt since I lost my chihuahua several months ago.  
 
I just don't want to go back to the days when I felt like I was losing hope.  Just roughly four more months until I get my surgery and then wow will my life really change.  I am looking forward to feeling better.  I know as the weight comes off my body is going to love and appreciated me more.  I look so forward to feeling better and being able to play with my son easier.  I look forward to getting back to walking again. My husband has informed me that in light of my recent fall and my need to get out and walk again he wants me to buy a walker that has a seat on it so that I can take walks with our son and be able to sit every so often.  I am torn on getting that.  On one hand I can see the benefits of having it but yet on the other hand it reminds me of how bad my body really has gotten.