I hate October.

I seriously hate the month of October. It's the month where I get paid the least amount of money which makes me sad. I remember my mother used to love and I can't put a greater emphisis on love, but she did. She would get all excited to see the little kids dressed up in there costumes and I remember the big bucket of candy she had. All my favorites!! but now I already know halloween will be a lonely one this year. I am stuck living by myself and it's always nice when friends from my past call me up and see how I am doing. I try to stay in contact with them as much as I can, but still distance is just to far and I'd much rather stay at home then go visit. I have responsibilities here at the house. Taking care of my doggies, keeping the house clean, going to school, going to practice same damn thing everyday. The worst is forking up money to pay for utilities, but I guess this is how the real world is though. I can't wait to find myself a girlfriend. I seriously feel like I am ready to settle down with someone who loves me. It's just so hard trying to find a girl who is ready for a commitment usually it's the other way around, but I am having so much trouble finding the right one. A few girls have successfully broken my heart and I'm not ready for another one of those. I just want a girl who is chill and respects me and the things I have and is ready to be by myside though anything. I wish I can just have that and not have to worry like this. Life can be unfair, but I am looking forward to overcomming all the faults in my life. I know happiness won't come overnight so I will just keep fighting though the days. I know a girl will come by and make me happy again, but for right now I will be content with just being "okay"...