I hate myself right now....

I have been having a lot of depression and I just have so much going on right now.  I don't feel like doing anything.  I sleep way too much, or at least I sleep weird schedules.  Like yesterday, I didn't get to bed till 6 am and I slept till 4pm.  I hate it.  I get up and I am still tired and drowsy all day.  My house is a friggin wreck.  The sink is messed up so my dishes are piled up.  I still haven't gotten my kitchen or bedroom unpacked and we have been living here for 4 months.  There is a problem with our refrigerator and so there is water collecting in the bottom of it....  Ugh! 
And, my diet and exercise routine has bit the dust.  My diet tracker keeps reminding me to track my weight, but I don't have a friggin scale!  I can't even afford one right now.  I feel so damn fat.  I weighed at the doctor's office and I weigh 235 now.  I hate it.  I just don't have the energy to even get up and do my exercise routine, and hell I don't even have an appetite anyway.  Half the time I don't even eat until a few hours before bed because I am never hungry.  I can't wait till my appointment next week.  I have to tell the doc that he needs to up my Paxil, cause this shit ain't working....  Sorry for the rant.