I hate my life

Okay so I haven't been on here in forever. My life fucking sucks. I have no friends, no boyfriend no one to hang out with. I never leave my sister's apartment, who I am having to to deal with because who fiancee left her out of no where. I can't take it. I am so stressed out I have no one to talk too. I hate being fucking sober I can't smoke weed anymore because of my stupid probation. I haven't tried to kill myself since Feb 26th. But I am getting really close to losing it again. I just someone here for me to talk too me and tell me everything will be fine. I can't take my meds anymore. I just feel so lost and I feel like no one understands me. Everyone is like ohhh you're just feeling sorry for yourself. And I can't talk to my sister because she will snap at me and be like I just lost my fiancee. Okay I know this is mean, they didn't even date a year, or anything. Plus it's been three weeks. I was with a guy for 3 years and he up and left. I just want someone to help me. I want someone to actually be here for me. I'm getting sick of people talking about me. Calling me a slut and shit like that, that isn't fucking true. I've had horrible thoughts running through my head. Now their are voices. Maybe I am too crazy to be around people. Maybe there is a reason I can't find a true friend or a true love. I really just want to die.