I hate morning.
I have always been a night owl. I tried for years to make myself go to bed earlier and re-train myself because people insisted it was possible. I never succeeded. I would always just be awake until late or early into the morning even if I laid down. Then, when it came time to get up, I just had to deal with being tired. And I would be tired much of the day. The sun went down, and it was literally like I'd been given a dose of Red Bull right to the veins. I would be wide awake, and the cycle would repeat. Weekends were always wonderful of course because I could get the amount of sleep I needed. I actually did some searching a few years ago to see if night owls and morning people really do exist. They do indeed, and studies showed that while morning people have steady energy levels all day, night owls get a burst late in the day. Re-training is possible, but hard. Anyway, that isn't actually what this rambling entry is about. I always hated mornings because of this cycle, or at least I thought I did.
Now, I REALLY hate mornings. I'm no longer a full fledged night owl. I stay up late on the weekend because I can sleep in really late. But during the week, I go to bed when hubby does and sometimes well before . It's not uncommon for me to have one night where I'm in bed as soon as the kids are. So, you'd think mornings would be better now. But they aren't. It's like being pulled out of a coma, whether it's 6am or 10 am. And once I'm up and moving, it's not much better. My feet hurt to walk on for several minutes after I get up, I'm achey for a half hour to an hour, and if I sit perfectly still for more than 10 minutes, I will go back to sleep. I'm really not much good before noon. I'm thankful I don't have a job, and I can't imagine how RAer's out there do it. We haven't even been to church in awhile because I kept dozing off during the service. Even throughout the day, if I am still for a very long period (besides stiffening up like a corpse) I start having trouble staying awake. Even if I'm doing something I normally enjoy, like reading, drawing, or playing Sims on my computer I often find myself nodding off. A couple nights ago while whisking some custard over the stove I realized that my eyes had been shut for several seconds and had to go stick my face in the freezer to wake up. Even if I'm not actually falling asleep, I often just feel drained. The fatigue brought on by RA, as I've said before, really is life sucking. As irritating as that cycle was before, it was easier to function and I think I'd rather have it back.
Now, I REALLY hate mornings. I'm no longer a full fledged night owl. I stay up late on the weekend because I can sleep in really late. But during the week, I go to bed when hubby does and sometimes well before . It's not uncommon for me to have one night where I'm in bed as soon as the kids are. So, you'd think mornings would be better now. But they aren't. It's like being pulled out of a coma, whether it's 6am or 10 am. And once I'm up and moving, it's not much better. My feet hurt to walk on for several minutes after I get up, I'm achey for a half hour to an hour, and if I sit perfectly still for more than 10 minutes, I will go back to sleep. I'm really not much good before noon. I'm thankful I don't have a job, and I can't imagine how RAer's out there do it. We haven't even been to church in awhile because I kept dozing off during the service. Even throughout the day, if I am still for a very long period (besides stiffening up like a corpse) I start having trouble staying awake. Even if I'm doing something I normally enjoy, like reading, drawing, or playing Sims on my computer I often find myself nodding off. A couple nights ago while whisking some custard over the stove I realized that my eyes had been shut for several seconds and had to go stick my face in the freezer to wake up. Even if I'm not actually falling asleep, I often just feel drained. The fatigue brought on by RA, as I've said before, really is life sucking. As irritating as that cycle was before, it was easier to function and I think I'd rather have it back.
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