I hate making mistakes

I made a really bad mistake at work and I'm having a lot of trouble getting past it.  I fucked up with the same customer 3 times in a row and I don't even know why!  It's embarrassing to me and embarrassing to my boss to have to make it up to the angry (rightfully so) customer.  My boss frustrated and angry and disappointed and my self esteem is shot to shit.

This week is my period, so I'm hyper sensitive and really depressed to begin with.  It's a time when my self esteem is already low and this just makes me feel like I can't do anything right.   I try to remember the good things I've done and put it in perspective, but then I just feel like I'm high maintenance and a drama queen for over-reacting and that continues to make me feel worse about myself. 

it's an obnoxious spiral and I know I'll feel better once I've slept it off and gotten to the weekend.  Just a few more days.  Just a little more patience.  I am exhausted by all of this and defeated. 

I try really hard to be good at my job.  I really do my best and now I wonder if my best is any good.  I've made my boss second guess me and I can't help but do the same.  Every day I deal with customers who don't get back to me or screw up all the time, but they never seem apologetic or anything.  How do they constantly screw up and not care?  How is it that I'm the one handling the brunt of my anger at them, and still holding myself to such high standards and beating myself up when I fall short of perfection? I kinda want to not care just so I can get past it.  It's a MISTAKE - not something I consciously allowed to happen.  It's not something I'm purposefully doing.  It's just really obnoxious that it was the same customer every time and I don't know why that happened.

I guess time is the only answer here.  To give it time.  ugh.  I just kinda want to ask people for compliments and support and at the same time I feel so super needy if I do that and would likely be embarrassed later on if I did act like that. 

just lay low.  just ride it out.  give it time.

*big heavy sigh*