I hate lying

I hate to make people believe I'm happy, when I'm not.  I know that I'm Christian and I'm supposed to set an example for other people, especially my family during these days, a but my anxiety and depression don't get any better and I'm really fed up with this Bipolar thing, and being disabled doesn't help.  I want to wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my friends on DS.  Sorry I haven't been here, but I haven't been feeling well.  I love you and care about  you very much.  I'm also getting ready for the day I have to leave this house.  I don't want to sound dramatic, but sometimes I think that I should go before my mother does.  I feel she is the only one that really cares for me.  Another thing, I feel like I have lost all my friends on DS, it's all my fault,  I know.  I hope I will have better news when I write on my journal again.  Blessings, Ivonne.