I hate feeling empty and alone

It is not easy for me to get time to get on the computer and log an entry into this journal, even though I knoe it help my sanity.  I get a quick chance to read someones request for advice or discussion but never enough time to put in my two cents.  This weekend has left me drained again. I am getting where I hate WEEKENDs. A weekend should be a happy family time. My Wife told me this weekend "Why can't you just go do what you want and let me do the same".  Another words if she is home I shouldn't be. So there was too much tension this weekend. Now the Wife is telling me I have to pull money from my old savings account to pay the dentist for an upcomming proceedure. How since I don't make as much money being a supervisor has put us in a bind.  Im tired I want companionship, I need intimacy and love and understanding let's do this togeather. Im tired of being reminded of my short commings.  This is not the way I wanted this part of my life to be like.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I know what you mean about weekends. I get to where I hate them too. I haven\'t taken any vacation time this summer either. When I\'m not busy, I think too much. About what I thought our lives should have been like. And what a shambles my stbx made of our marriage.

Still living with your wife, under these sad circumstances, must be hard. I lived with my stbx for 2 months after I found out about the new affairs. It was brutal. I thought I would lose my mind. Hang in there. Do you think a separation would help? Or maybe marriage counseling? If she won\'t go, seek out help for yourself. It couldn\'t hurt. All the best!!
PeaceHarmony
PeaceHarmony

Some people might wonder if it is possible to feel lonely and alone in a marriage. But you know what this is like. So sorry for your grief and heartache. As okiesusie mentioned, are you seeing a marriage counsellor? As you know, my H and I are presently in a \"controlled\" separation where he is out of the home during this time while we are seeing our marriage counsellor. I pray you will find wisdom and courage as you seek to know what the next right step is.
WTconfused
WTconfused

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WTconfused
WTconfused

Thank You both for the prayers and strenght that others understand. Yes I am goingto counseling, she wont go. I went yesterday infact. still confused because there is not \"other\" in this picture. That would make it easy, maybe. If she were to say I\'m out-a-here, that woud be too. But If I do it, then I feel as no matter how she has treated me, I would be the one quiting on her, I would be the one mistreating her and running out on my vows. But to day I will attempt to start learning about our debt ever soo carefully.
PeaceHarmony
PeaceHarmony

I commend you for your courage, WTconfused. You are doing what is within your power to change... and that is you... The fact that you are willing to see a counsellor even when she is not is so wise on your part. The fact that she is unwilling to join you indicates that she is already making a decision... May you gain much wisdom and strength during this time. Be assured, you are not abandoning the marriage. You are doing all you can to salvage it.... as you know of course, it will take both of you to save it.