I HAD TO SAY A LONG DISTANCE GOOD BYE

Does this ever seem strange to be writing again.Please I hope that you do not get tired of reading these papers.I do not put comas and periods where they should go but Itry to get the point across.Yes I am griveing for my sister even more now.The memorial was Sat. and I was notable to get to the service.It really seems like things have really come aganist me ever since I sold the truck. I NO THAT AT THAT TIME I could not keep the insurence and pay for the place to live. So I did what was best,I sold the truck.Oh do not worry you will beable to get to where you need to go. This was told to me in MAY.Here it is DEC.NO RIDES ANYWHERE  EXCEPT TO THE DOCTOR.It really hurts me because it just does not seem real that she [Melinda] my sister is gone. I read the insert on line and there was her picture and the obturierty but it all seems like a bad dream.A woman and a man grieve different.'I do not want fingers pointing at me because I am grieving for my sister.I told her GOOD-BYE SAT.@ 1;00 a LONG DISTANCE GOOD-BYE that is because I could not round up anyone to run me to the service. I left word with my brother-n-law that I was going to be there if I COULD MAKE ARANGMENTS. Well it did not pan out and I HAVE TO GO ON. IT JUST DOES NOT SEEM REAL. I realize that there are grieve counclors and all that but if I could not get to M.W. MEMORIAL HOW IN THE SAM HILL CAN I GET TO A G.COUN.  Look I am trying to look on the right side of things,I ASK YOU WHAT IS THE RIGHT SIDE? NOT  LONG  DISTANCE.  I have gone thru some photos of myself and my sister when we were 6yrs and 2yrs.There are 4yrs.difference in our ages. I have started a booklet.This is the best I can do for now.No way of going nor no funds so a compossion book is the photo book.Thank You DS for allowing folks to write a journal.This is a Blessing and I  LOOK FOWARD TO THIS AGAIN. HOPELY IT WILL NOT BE A LONG DISTANCE ONE.                     LOVE TO YOU ALL