I hate

I hate this life of being the mom of an angel.
I hate being the mom of a son who moved out of my house.
I hate being the mom of another son who is moving away.
I hate being the wicked stepmother.
I hate the way my husband keeps asking me what's wrong with me. WTF? Still? Really? YOU STILL HAVE TO ASK?
I hate this emptiness in my chest. In my life.
I hate the way my sister got her feelings hurt by my sadness.
I hate the pitiful way people look at me when I tell them that my son is dead.
I hate that I have a new friend named Jana who does not know that I have a dead son and I do not plan to tell her just so that I might be able to pretend everything is normal and happy. That's really messed up, isn't it?
               I LOVE
I love that I have you here to pick me up when I feel like this. Thank you Denise for helping me through the night and thank you Teri because I know you will get me through tomorrow.  I love you all.