i hurt

yeah i know its not end of world. just feels like hell. she loves me as a person but not in love with me. ive known this for months but still hard to deal with. she finally said it. but she keeps me hanging on says shes so confused what can she do. thinking she needs to leave me alone cause she is killing me emotionally. i loved her so much and it was never sex. i have been through so much sick shit sexually honestly i hate it. so it wasnt that for me. so i dont really get it. i was hoping it was cause she was so stressed out at work but she seems to think it wasnt that. im so drained and sad. and feel like im ugly and have nothing to offer and plain out just feel like shit. and  was kinda sad when hello its all about me today and got no advice. yes im pathetic and tired and blah.