I guess simple and quite is ok for now.

So the days and nights are pretty much calming down now. It's kind of weird actually to have days and nights where no big drama happens. No crying, no yelling, no bill collectors to call, most of my friends and family have stopped calling everyday to see how i'm doing. I am actually really glad of that because I could be having an ok day and when they would call it would just make me have to talk about all that crap and then I would cry through the night. Now it's kind of boring and quite I come home from work make us dinner fold the laundry, walk the dogs, go check the mail, help Austin with homework, bath, clean up the house a little, get lunches and clothes ready for next day, take a bath myself, read a little then bed. It's just a day no more no less. I hope I can start having a little more fun and adventure in my life in the future maybe a little excitement just something to look forward too someday. But, for now I will take boring and quite and routine it's what I need right now I think. NO DRAMA just living the best I can for now.
When I pray I caught myself asking God WHY ME GOD? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I think I am starting to see that GOD is not doing this to me he is doing this FOR ME. I hope to see more as the days go by. Some are good days some are sad days and some well, they are just days.....