I guess it's just part of the process

I am having a rough night tonight. I'm a little lonely and sad about the rejection.  As many things this man had going on that would have been real issues for me to deal with, I REALLY wanted him heart, mind, and body.  I had never been that attracted to anyone before.  When I get like this all I can think is, "Why couldn't he love me?  Why can't I have a man I REALLY want?"  I also get into this mindset of what if I can't/don't find someone I'm that attracted to again or what if I do and, again, he can't love me? I feel like I've almost always settled for the men I end up in relationships with, even my ex-husband.  Actually, probably him most of all.  I realize these emotions are my wounded inner child coming out.  I think they creep in when my higher self is exhausted from keeping it together.  The good news is that when I have these sad spells they are shorter and shorter, but they suck.  A LOT.  I just desperately want to be in a relationship with someone that loves me, will treat me well, and that I'm really attracted to.  I'm so afraid that won't happen.  I'm trying to accept that it may not.  I'm trying to accept that my purpose in life may not include being in a healthy relationship.  It's hard to do when I want it so badly.