I guess a quick update.

Well my dad went into the hospital today. I have no idea where becasue he never tells me shit about his whereabouts. So what am I suppost to do? He won't respond to my texts or calls. Whatever. He never really does anyways.Thats besides the matter though, I am just trying to make it through the day in one piece like always. I know everybody is probably sick and tired of me saying that, but it feels like thats the only way to make me feel better I guess, Venting my anger and fustration feels good to me for some reason. I know it's annoying and ill stop. My mind is gone! It's now an everyday struggle. Between socializing with people I have no offiliation with and avoiding the people who I care about dearly. If you asked me why I do this I couldn't give you an answer, but if It's one thing; it's just becasue Im scared. Plain and simple. I never know whats going to happen next. I guess it feels good when your in the middle of everything.I have tried to stay strong but no matter how hard I work it never seems to get any better. Everyone is waiting for me to fall. It's what it feels like. I can't believe how much I have changed in one year. I am sorry for the people I hurt, but there is really nothing I can do, becasue I don't give a fuck about tomarrow becasue it feels like I won't even get there.