I get so frustrated

I get so frustated sometimes with my husband. I know that he has problems, but when I know he can do something and he gives up and will not do it I get mad.So here is my story for this week. First of all my van has been broken for about a week now and who knows what is wrong with it. I think it has something to do with the elecrical system in it. I know we need  a new van, but there is no way in which we can afford one right now. Anyway, I made arrangements with his father to come over and we would all go to the doctor. We have everything that we need to get him there now except our van. I had spent most of the morning getting him ready even though I knew he was having fears about going outside for the first time since he has been home. Well finally his father shows up and we get all of the equipment in his van and then it is time for him to get to the van to go. He gets outside and to the van and tries to get into the front seat, but with all of his oxygen and no leg room, he does not fit in the front seat. I know that he would have more leg room and be able to get into the back seat, but he says that he does not want to go, that he can't do it. I said that he could and that he should get into the back he refused and said that he wanted to come back into the house. I have never gotten angry with him in front of his parents before, but I said I was done, He could make up his own mind and came back into the house.  Knowing that when he got back into the house he would be upset because he was not going to do it. That I would have to deal with him all night being upset and having to try and cheer him up all night long. It takes all of my energy and patience. My mother in law asked me if there was anything that they could do. I said no, that I would be fine. That he just needed encouragement. They stayed for awhile His dad with him in the living room and his mother in here with me keeping us separated trying to cheer him up enough so I would not have so much to deal with once they left. As soon as they walked out of the door, he starts crying saying that he was a big dissapointment. I looked at him and said that I was dissapointed because I know that he could have done it, but I was here to follow his wishes that the effort he put into going outside and the strength he had was amazing, I was just upset that he did not have more faith in himself. I told him that when his rescheduled appointment got here he was going to do it, because he needs to have a doctor.  Ok so now that is my story and I still don't feel better getting it all out. I should have pushed him harder and then he would have felt better, But I didn't. I am the type of person that gets upset when I can't help someone, and not being able to help my husband is really starting to drive me nutty. I have been really sad lately because all the preaching I do to him about eating healthy, I can't seem to stay or even get started soosing any weight. I know that I need to, but I just do not have anything left after helping him. I don't have the energy to eat the right things, or to make myself something healthy. He will eat almost anything, but I am so picky that making anything extra is just too exhausting. So I just grab the closest thing that I like and that is supper. I try to eat breakfast and lunch, but I hate eating that early. Then it seems that I eat all night long. I know when and what I am supposed to eat I just dont like it then. Some days I wish I could trade places with him so he could wait on me and make me do what I am supposed to do.  Thought for the day.............You always have something to give, even if it is just your love.