i found this and really liked it :)
I was wasting my time trying to find something real for my soul. Now that I'm here your making it clear that I'm not my own. Now this is all that i am, here, with my out streched hands cause I really need you now. I'm running in place trying to erase all that i've done but you find a way to replace my pain with love. I... just need you now. Now, this is all that I am...
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It sounds like you are still struggling. This is beautiful, but very sad. Hope you are feeling better soon. Did you ever get a bike? That would be a good start.
Love, Hugs, Prayers