I finally don't care..in a good way!

Gosh, I feel so good!  I've taken the focus off AH and his problems.  He can't drive because of DWI, and he could have gotten his license back four years ago!  You know what?  Not my problem.  He has a pacemaker, eats alot of salt even tho' he's on high blood pressure meds, not my problem. He's always looking for a time to drink be it 10 am or 8 pm.  Not my problem.  Stage 3 kidney disease.  Still, not my problem!  He's given me the silent treatment for days, cheated on me, called me the C word which I absolutely dispise, watches porno when I'm not home, talks to his ex-wife and crys on her shoulder and you know what?  I don't care.  After being trounched and blamed for his miserable life's problems over the years,  I just don't care.  Stinky man who doesn't shower.  Lost his teeth because they got rotten from his drinking.  I don't care!!  And it feels good.
We sleep in separate bedrooms and I love it!!!  Mine is pretty with family photos and smells good!!  Kids are on their own and he has our youngest son's old bedroom.
Someone can kick the love right out of you by their constant bad behavior over the years!!  Now the kids are grown it's all about me now.
I don't want him to die.  I don't want to be a widow.  I still love the old AH that I once knew.  This has gotten so ridiculous!  Can you imagine not working for eight years and not haing your license for four and being completely housebound??? 
Thank goodness my sons don't take him to buy booze!!  They told him they won't support his habit. 
I'm working, trying to look like a beautiful woman, because I do care about me!!!