I FEEL SOOO ALONE!!!!
WELL, HERE I AM AGAIN!! STILL HERE WITH MY CONSTANT INSANE PAIN AND NOW WITH MUCH MORE DEPRESSION!! I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN'T HAVE A BREAK FROM THIS STUPID PAIN AND EXHAUSTION I ENDURE EVERY MINUTE OF EACH AND EVERY DAY!!! I AM TIRED! FOR THE PAST WHILE NOW I HAVE BEEN FEELING SOOO VERY, VERY ALONE! IF IT WASN'T FOR MY DEAR HUSBAND, AND MANY OF MY DEAR FRIENDS HERE ON DS I THINK I WOULD JUST SLOWLY FADE TO BLACK... I USED TO ALWAYS FIND A BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS, BUT DARN IT LATELY I JUST CAN'T RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS TERRIBLE ILLNESS IS JUST GETTING TO ME SOOO MUCH, I HAVE LOST EVERY INCH OF ENERGY FOR ANYTHING!!! THERE IS NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, NOTHING THAT I CAN THINK OF?????? THERE IS SOOO MUCH THAT PLAYS APART FOR THE WAY I FEEL.... THIS CRAZY ALBERTA, CANADA WEATHER HERE IN APRIL WE HAVE BEEN GETTING ALOT OF SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! SNOW IN APRIL I KNOW IT IS COMMON IN ALBERTA BUT I AM SOOO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP WEATHER, I WANT SUNSHINE AND GREEN GRASS AND FLOWERS, AND WARM TO HOT WEATHER!! BUT THEN I THINK WELL, IF IT WAS ALL OF THE ABOVE WITH THE WEATHER, HOW IN THE HELL WOULD IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE I STILL CAN'T GET OUT AND GO AND DO MUCH, ANYWAY???? BUT I DO LOVE THE SUNSHINE AND WARM WEATHER, BUT I WANT TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT, TOO!! THIS ILLNESS IS MAKING ME A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME!! I RARELY GET ANY VISITORS, THE TWO FRIENDS THAT I DO HAVE , ALSO ARE NOT VERY HEALTHY AND THEN THEY DON'T DRIVE, SO IF I WANT COMPANY I HAVE TO GO AND GET IT??? SOUNDS, CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE DOING THERE OWN THING AND I FEEL LIKE A DUST BALL LEFT IN THE CORNER!! I AM SITTING HERE NOW, JUST GOING OVER WHAT I HAVE JUST WRITTEN WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE, I SOUND PATHETIC!! DAMN IT!! I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO TURN THIS AROUND!!!!!!!! I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER????????????????
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