I feel selfish...
I am having a really hard time deciding the right path for me in my relationship. As I analyze the reasons why I am unhappy and the decision to move on, I feel selfish.
This man's need for love and affection is so overwhelming that I feel like I am suffocating when I spend time with him now. He needs the intimacy every moment we are together, whether my daughter is in the room or not. He needs to be told that he is loved, and vice versa (that he loves me) everytime we talk, every text, every phone call, every FB comment, it has to have those three words and a few other mushy gushy words too. I dont like it anymore. We can say I love you after a phone conversation, and in a text message, but it doesnt have to be in every message as we communicate back and forth. I feel selfish, because he gets upset and his feelings hurt when I forget to tell him I love him or if I tell him its too much. Every moment we are together we have to be touching in some form. I feel like I am being cold and heartless and inconsiderate to not want this, when I feel maybe I should be grateful that there is someone who is loving and caring about me, and tries not to do anything that will hurt my feelings though he isnt always successful. When he knows something has bothered me, he does what he can to fix it, and I am grateful and see what he does, but I feel suffocated, and feel this 4 year relationship is going no where.
I also feel selfish because I dont want to be with him anymore when I know he will never be able to provide for my daughter or me. He lives in a house that is paid for, and doesnt pay the expenses, such as cable, phone, and power. The only thing he pays for is his food, and gas, and credit card bills. I dont ever see him stepping up to be a provider, is it selfish and petty of me to want a provider? I mean, I have a career, and I work hard at it, and bring home a paycheck, I will still do this, but I dont want to be with a partner who cant be a provider too. I feel if this would ever make it to a union (and it wont because while he says he wants to marry me, he cant buy a ring and doesnt have a decent house for us to live in) Is it selfish and petty of me to want someone who can meet me in the middle when it comes to supporting a family???
I dont want to do it, I dont want to be in this relationship anymore. I am not happy, but in my heart of hearts I feel like I am being the selfish petty person to want more for myself. Why do I feel like I need to sacrifice my happiness to be with someone who loves me and cares about me, but has needs that are overwhelming, and cant be a provider? Why do I feel like the petty jerk who is being the bad person because I want to call it quits after being in a four year relationship that has not gone anywhere, and will not go anywhere... I am in tears now, I dont want to do it anymore. Please tell me I am not wrong in this, because I feel like I am wrong. But why does it feel so wrong to be with him, when am I not happy anymore. Is it okay to move one when you feel like there is just nothing there, is it ok to go? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong and being selfish?
This man's need for love and affection is so overwhelming that I feel like I am suffocating when I spend time with him now. He needs the intimacy every moment we are together, whether my daughter is in the room or not. He needs to be told that he is loved, and vice versa (that he loves me) everytime we talk, every text, every phone call, every FB comment, it has to have those three words and a few other mushy gushy words too. I dont like it anymore. We can say I love you after a phone conversation, and in a text message, but it doesnt have to be in every message as we communicate back and forth. I feel selfish, because he gets upset and his feelings hurt when I forget to tell him I love him or if I tell him its too much. Every moment we are together we have to be touching in some form. I feel like I am being cold and heartless and inconsiderate to not want this, when I feel maybe I should be grateful that there is someone who is loving and caring about me, and tries not to do anything that will hurt my feelings though he isnt always successful. When he knows something has bothered me, he does what he can to fix it, and I am grateful and see what he does, but I feel suffocated, and feel this 4 year relationship is going no where.
I also feel selfish because I dont want to be with him anymore when I know he will never be able to provide for my daughter or me. He lives in a house that is paid for, and doesnt pay the expenses, such as cable, phone, and power. The only thing he pays for is his food, and gas, and credit card bills. I dont ever see him stepping up to be a provider, is it selfish and petty of me to want a provider? I mean, I have a career, and I work hard at it, and bring home a paycheck, I will still do this, but I dont want to be with a partner who cant be a provider too. I feel if this would ever make it to a union (and it wont because while he says he wants to marry me, he cant buy a ring and doesnt have a decent house for us to live in) Is it selfish and petty of me to want someone who can meet me in the middle when it comes to supporting a family???
I dont want to do it, I dont want to be in this relationship anymore. I am not happy, but in my heart of hearts I feel like I am being the selfish petty person to want more for myself. Why do I feel like I need to sacrifice my happiness to be with someone who loves me and cares about me, but has needs that are overwhelming, and cant be a provider? Why do I feel like the petty jerk who is being the bad person because I want to call it quits after being in a four year relationship that has not gone anywhere, and will not go anywhere... I am in tears now, I dont want to do it anymore. Please tell me I am not wrong in this, because I feel like I am wrong. But why does it feel so wrong to be with him, when am I not happy anymore. Is it okay to move one when you feel like there is just nothing there, is it ok to go? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong and being selfish?
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