I feel lonely and scared

After i entered High school, I lost many friends because I questioning my identity and try to convert myself to be a straight male I think.. While I'm actually a transgender girl. I was really depressed because I really don't fit in. I excluded myself from the female friends because I thought they make me feminine, and can't have good relationship with boys either because I'm role playing as a boy. My grades were dropping, and I cried in the middle of the night thinking why I was like this. Now, I'm not questioning anymore. But the situation still the same, they still think I'm a gloomy boy and still depressed. I hope to change my situation in college as I will have a fresh image.