I Feel Like I Sat Down In a Cow Patty

I cannot believe how incompassionate people are.  After driving 80 miles round trip yesterday to see a hand specialist and getting not such a good report on my wrist and hand, I came home crying and very upset.  Then I ate, because I hadn't had time to eat lunch, and it happened.  I had another hernia attack, and I couldn't reach a soul.  Finally I drove to my church because I knew there would be people there for different activities.  A few of the ladies prayed for me, but then one of them said maybe God was trying to tell or teach me something.  WHAT???  We, as widows, do not need judgment - not from anyone, for any reason!  My pastor did finally arrive on the scene and prayed for me (using the oil).  By then, the hernia had calmed down.  One widow I had texted informed me she was home for the night and asked if it was an emergency. Duh.... She suggested I call 911.  I started to ask her if that was a rhetorical question, but she didn't merit a response. 

I have also had an earache for about three days, getting very little sleep.  We have had snow, hail, ice - just bad, cold weather. This is unusual for the end of February here in the NW.  

This morning I got an email from my son saying he had remarried his ex-wife.  I have no clue when, how, or where.  I don't see it working, so I am not happy about it.  His wife is narcissitic, as is the teenage stepdaughter. Barbie, Skipper, and Ken.  What was the boy's name?  I am not moving to the state they live in, but I do want to move.  I just don't have the money, and this therapy isn't helping much.  I have to have a CT scan next and possibly more aggressive therapy.  

Widowhood is like being in a dark tunnel all alone.  Right now I am feeling defeated.  I don't want to put one foot in front of the other.  Does anyone else have those days when you just want to go to bed and pull the covers over your head??  My life is a mess.