I feel like a horrible mom
right now. Ian is up-stairs crying his eyes out. For the past few weeks Ian has been fighting bedtime. He will be super tired and cranky but will cry and cry until someone comes up there. It started as just once then more and more. I know its not because he is not tired. As soon as I go in there and pick him up he puts his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes. Well i just cant do it anymore. Running up and down a flight of stairs 15 times a night is way to much. So i decided to do cry it out. I put him down and he seemed like he was going ot drop right of. Well he started crying and so I took Dede outside to go potty and so i wouldnt have to hear him. When i got back he was quite so i peeked in his room and he was just laying there. About 5 minutes later he started crying again. Then he would stop then start then stop. I think me no going up there is working. But i HATE hearing him cry. Im hoping this will break his habit and that his dad will stick to it when he gets home.
I still think this pregnancy is no good. I have a feeling when we go next friday (i changed my appointment so DH could go) there will be no heartbeat. I will be 8 weeks. I just dont "feel" right.
Dh is in germany. He is workng 10 staright days. SO not happy about it. Im basically am a single mom for a week and a half. We go to Ga at the end of the month for about a week. Last time I was there DH'd grandpa didnt look so good so I told him he needed to take som etim eof fto go see him before its to late. My bil and sil will also be down so i get to see my neice! Im happy about that. Then in July we are going to cali for my family runiun. Its been a year since I have been there and I have never gone that long without visiting.
LALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa Ian is still crying. He is actually scream crying. It is a new thing he has learned during these little test. I cant give in. I will go in there in 5 minutes if he is still crying but i WILL not pick him up. I will lay him down give him his passi's he has thrown out and rub his back. After that no more. I hate this but it works.
No onto my rant. I am so sick of bills. My DH makes decent money. We are far from rich but i get to be a SAHM we both have decent cars own a home an so forth. But it seems like we cant catch a break. Everytime I think we will have extra money something pops up. I just got a $300 bill from when i got stitches last month. Ians $350 deductible from when he was hospitalized in Febuary. Its always something. im trying to pay off out last credit card but its taking forever. I CANT wait to move back to GA. We are paying $1500 rent right now. Our mortgage on our house is $1200. Our house is way bigger and nicer. I want another house but after being in this tiny townhouse our old house will do for a while. We have great tenants in there. We are thinking when we get transfered home that we will move in with his parents until we find a house that we want to buy. maybe 3 months max. That will also help us save for a down payment. Moving so much has drained our savings. Im hopeing we can save 5k in 3 months. They have some awsome 4 bedroom 3 bath 3000 sq foot houses for about 170K. im praying that we are back before the new baby. At the very least before the baby os 6 months. I told james a few days ago during a hormonal fit that i was moving back to ga next april with or with out him. He can put in for his transfer this september. But who knows. I would so move back but then i think about Ian not seeing his dad and i cant do it. He loves his dad so much its not right. It breaks my heart thinking about ian not seeing him for a few months. He did that when he was a newborn. He didnt know the differance but now he does.
yay Ian is quite. Thank you Jesus! Speaking of Jesus, ok crazy people who think the world is ending tomorrow. Dont you read the bible? its says not even the angles know when the time is. Well im goingt go finish cleaning the kitchen from dinner. Have a great weekend.
I still think this pregnancy is no good. I have a feeling when we go next friday (i changed my appointment so DH could go) there will be no heartbeat. I will be 8 weeks. I just dont "feel" right.
Dh is in germany. He is workng 10 staright days. SO not happy about it. Im basically am a single mom for a week and a half. We go to Ga at the end of the month for about a week. Last time I was there DH'd grandpa didnt look so good so I told him he needed to take som etim eof fto go see him before its to late. My bil and sil will also be down so i get to see my neice! Im happy about that. Then in July we are going to cali for my family runiun. Its been a year since I have been there and I have never gone that long without visiting.
LALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa Ian is still crying. He is actually scream crying. It is a new thing he has learned during these little test. I cant give in. I will go in there in 5 minutes if he is still crying but i WILL not pick him up. I will lay him down give him his passi's he has thrown out and rub his back. After that no more. I hate this but it works.
No onto my rant. I am so sick of bills. My DH makes decent money. We are far from rich but i get to be a SAHM we both have decent cars own a home an so forth. But it seems like we cant catch a break. Everytime I think we will have extra money something pops up. I just got a $300 bill from when i got stitches last month. Ians $350 deductible from when he was hospitalized in Febuary. Its always something. im trying to pay off out last credit card but its taking forever. I CANT wait to move back to GA. We are paying $1500 rent right now. Our mortgage on our house is $1200. Our house is way bigger and nicer. I want another house but after being in this tiny townhouse our old house will do for a while. We have great tenants in there. We are thinking when we get transfered home that we will move in with his parents until we find a house that we want to buy. maybe 3 months max. That will also help us save for a down payment. Moving so much has drained our savings. Im hopeing we can save 5k in 3 months. They have some awsome 4 bedroom 3 bath 3000 sq foot houses for about 170K. im praying that we are back before the new baby. At the very least before the baby os 6 months. I told james a few days ago during a hormonal fit that i was moving back to ga next april with or with out him. He can put in for his transfer this september. But who knows. I would so move back but then i think about Ian not seeing his dad and i cant do it. He loves his dad so much its not right. It breaks my heart thinking about ian not seeing him for a few months. He did that when he was a newborn. He didnt know the differance but now he does.
yay Ian is quite. Thank you Jesus! Speaking of Jesus, ok crazy people who think the world is ending tomorrow. Dont you read the bible? its says not even the angles know when the time is. Well im goingt go finish cleaning the kitchen from dinner. Have a great weekend.
Replies
Wow!! Real estate is way better where you are!! You can\'t even rent a 1 bdr apartment in our area for that! Our house is nice, but not spectacular and our mortgage pmt is $3500! LOL
Good for you for sticking to your guns...it is so hard when kids try to control what bedtime looks like! :-) It is hard right now, but he will get back to his routine and quite trying to manipulate things.
LOL about the world ending tomorrow...I guess you don\'t realize that God is telling his \"favorites\" about these things...we\'re just out of the loop, I guess. LOL Who has time to worry about this stuff anyway?
I have to do the CIO method with Eagan lately because he has also stopped wanting to go to sleep but luckily he cries for 2 mins at the most before he is out most of the time. It gets easier... its hard but don\'t give in... we just have to make sure they know its bedtime and give them tons of love before they go to sleep... when they wake up they forgot the crying and are happy little babies again... btw I use to put my Son to sleep by 8p at the latest... well I moved it to 9p and it has made a world of difference with him not crying nearly as long. I just have to ignore his crabbyness between 8 and 9 and use that as a time to cuddle and love on him to settle him down for bed... you may want to try a later bedtime and see if that helps. Your a great mom to a healthy little boy!
I want to also add that I tell my son often that \" it\'s almost bedtime, or almost night night time\" that way he knows it\'s coming even as your doing the normal night routine.
You\'re not a bad mom for using the CIO method. IDK if you know but I nanny- and lately I have been having to use that method with the 9 month old I watch because he just won\'t go to sleep even though he is exhausted. I hate hearing him cry but I can\'t keep getting up and down being 6 months pregnant trying to get him to go to sleep. So don\'t think you are a bad mom because you use it. I\'m also sorry about your bad feelings about this pregnancy. Just keep faith and try and be positive hun. I know its hard. I am praying for you and your precious baby. Praying things go well at your apt. And have fun visiting with your family and neice! About the bills- I totally hear ya hun. No matter what you do it seems like something comes up. Those things I think you just have to take one day at a time. And no, the world isn\'t going to end tomorrow. My fiance keeps talking about it and his coworker asked me tonight when I picked my fiance up from work, \"Aren\'t you scared about the world ending tomorrow?\" I said nope. Cuz its not going to happen and if it magically does- then that\'s whats supposed to happen. So glad you mentioned something about that. But anyways, keep your head up hun! Take things one day at a time and just keep faith. Hugs!
I had forgotten about the title of your journal entry...You are a TERRIFIC mom!! This phase will pass and he will go back to going right to sleep.
I am sad to hear about your feelings about this baby...I hope you are just going through a little bit of a detached phase, to protect yourself in case something is wrong, but we will all be praying for great news!!
You are not a horrible mom. I think you are doing the right thing by letting him cio. I hope your feelings about the baby are wrong and he/she is perfectly healthy. Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way!