I feel like a failure
23 years gone, never to get back. I tried to be a wife, mother and then lost myself in that process. I know I was depressed for years. Don't even know how many, I want to bounce back from this. I want to feel good about myself but right now I feel like a failure. My mother has to send me money so I can get through this. That's not how it's suppose to go, I am suppose to be helping her. This was my favorite holiday, didn't even get a tree or decorate. I can't bring myself to do it. I guess I will cook but I really don't feel like it.
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I feel your pain so much. 15 years for me. I'm in my room curled up and I have a house full of people. I'm so heartbroken.
Try cooking something small you will feel better.
Try getting out of the house. It's small steps. Christmas is my favorite holiday as well. I thought it was ruined for sure but then my teenage son called me and it made me very happy. I still have to explain to him what's going on but I will leave that for later. Jewel you can and you will get through this. . .
PS don't let this define who you are. You are not a failure.
We all have a rough time during the holidays. This is not the norm, but not the end either. You ate not a failure! What is you favorite thing about this holiday? Favorite food? Do those and do it with a friend. If you next to talk later, we are here!
Couldn't cook, I just put a turkey breast in the oven. What does define me? I was a wife and a mother, that was who people knew me to be. Now, I'm not a wife. So I feel like a fool, for giving my heart and soul to him. I want both back. Even with my heart broken. My kids ended up getting a paper tree. They bought some gifts, I didn't get them anything. I just didn't feel like getting out the bed. I went to church, was having chest pains and left. Drank some water, did deep breathing. Hopefully, when the turkey breast is done will feel like getting up.
I think because your children love you, they will remember a time when you were down but got yourself back up. You are not a failure as I try to tell myself and you will get back on your feet and eventually be where you want to be in life and the one who will have made that possible is you. I know what you are feeling, I had so much and built so much and it was all thanks to my sacrifice that we got to where we were in life and now in a short while, I will literally have to start from the bottom of nothing, my daughter with me :'(
But my sense of urgency to get out of this relationship allows me feel that anywhere would be better than here.
I asked myself what does define me too the other day and I have to say I don't know, but I think once I'm out and in the clear of this situation that will give me the strength and the clear head to find out. I have to admit, you are better than me with getting to church and cooking because there won't be any of that from me this year, I don't have it in me. { HUGS}
It took everything to get to church and I only cooked a turkey breast. Once I got there, I actually had some chest pains and left a little early. I probably needed water, was overthinking because last night I finally took off my ring.
I feel your pain. Christmas was kind of my holiday. We always decorated we had the big Christmas dinners. We always had family from both side stay over. This was the 1st Christmas by myself. It sucked but I made it through. Next up is New Years. We spend the last 22 years starting the new year with a kiss. I will be by myself this year. One day at a time. My hope is that we can all get through this.
23 years, half my life. Yea, the kids would pick out a tree, decorate it and the whole house. It was a family thing. This year, no tree, no decorations.usually play my Christmas cd for a month, I couldn't bear to hear it. I usually go to church for New Years, I will probably go but asking for God to soften my heart and help me push through this. I have to figure out of if I am ready to file since he not really financially supporting me. Hugs to you.
You're not a failure!