I feel like a balloon...
I feel like a balloon that's about to pop. I've gained 5 pounds since I started taking the progesterone and Letrozole. Most of it is from bloating and retaining water. Also, this round of Letrozole made my boobs feel like someone was trying to smoosh them, whereas last time I only got a little tenderness. Then again this round was a higher dose. Hopefully that's a good sign!
I took the last 3 Letrozole pills today, yay! Hopefully the tenderness and bloating goes away soon, cuz I'm done with 'em. I'm going to start using the LH strip tests tomorrow to see if this whole thing worked. I want to be hopeful and I want to be positive, but I feel like if I get too hopeful or positive, I'll just be let down in the end. I'm so conflicted on how I should be feeling right now. I don't think I've ever wanted something more in my life than I want for this to work.
I know I'm still early in my journey and there's lots of other things I can try, but with all the emotional turmoil that is surrounding me I don't know if I can handle IUIs and IVF. Also with going to school this fall, and my tuition being around $3,000 (before books and supplies!) I don't know if I could afford other treatments. My RE says the IUIs will cost around $1,500, while the IVF will be around $12,000 and up. The best I can hope for at this point is to get a job and hope it pays well enough to squirrel away enough funds to pay for a few rounds of IUIs.
Getting a job is tough though. I've applied to a ton of places and have only heard back from 2, one for a first interview that didn't go anywhere and the other letting me know that they'd filled all their positions already. While out today I saw a now hiring sign at a store, so I'm going to go back tomorrow with my resume to apply.
Speaking of being out today, I walked my big arse off for sure! I did the normal walk to take my nephew to school (I have an arrangement with my brother that during his 2 weeks, I walk my nephew to and from school and watch him til my brother or his gf can pick him up), which takes me about 10 minutes. Then DH (who is off today and walked with us) and I walked another 10 minutes over to Ryan's foster mother's house (where Ryan was taking advantage of free laundry) to meet up with him. We then walked up to a small mall just up the road from Ryan's, about a 20-25 min walk.
We walked around the mall (takes about 5 mins to get from one side to the other). Wasted some time til Harvey's opened and then went and had lunch. I know, bad lunch and totally undoes the good of walking, but it's not going to throw my calorie intake out of whack as I am not snacking today (not hungry enough to snack really) and I didn't feel well, so I had a smaller than normal breakfast (still adequate though!). We then walked the 25 mins back to Ryan's and then DH and I walked the 20 mins back home from there.
I still have to walk 20 mins to pick up my nephew from school (that's to and from), so that'll be a grand total of approximately an hour and a half of walking for today. That's about double what I normally walk each day when I have my nephew. I'll be repeating the walk tomorrow to go hand out resumes too. So hopefully this'll help get me back on the weight loss path. Though technically I didn't do anything wrong (going up 5 pounds in a week is insane) to gain the weight, I still didn't do enough to lose my 1 pound for last week.
I have to end this here though, since it's time to go pick up my nephew from school. Hope the rest of you ladies are having a good day!
P.S. UPS just delivered a package for DH, and the delivery guy is one we've had before. Last time he wanted to pet my dog, Will, but he was being too shy. This time, he had a marrow bone treat in his pocket to give to Will. Will still wouldn't come near him, so the delivery guy rolled it into the apt for him. That has totally made my day! Love when delivery people treat the pets of people they're delivering to with such kindness!
I took the last 3 Letrozole pills today, yay! Hopefully the tenderness and bloating goes away soon, cuz I'm done with 'em. I'm going to start using the LH strip tests tomorrow to see if this whole thing worked. I want to be hopeful and I want to be positive, but I feel like if I get too hopeful or positive, I'll just be let down in the end. I'm so conflicted on how I should be feeling right now. I don't think I've ever wanted something more in my life than I want for this to work.
I know I'm still early in my journey and there's lots of other things I can try, but with all the emotional turmoil that is surrounding me I don't know if I can handle IUIs and IVF. Also with going to school this fall, and my tuition being around $3,000 (before books and supplies!) I don't know if I could afford other treatments. My RE says the IUIs will cost around $1,500, while the IVF will be around $12,000 and up. The best I can hope for at this point is to get a job and hope it pays well enough to squirrel away enough funds to pay for a few rounds of IUIs.
Getting a job is tough though. I've applied to a ton of places and have only heard back from 2, one for a first interview that didn't go anywhere and the other letting me know that they'd filled all their positions already. While out today I saw a now hiring sign at a store, so I'm going to go back tomorrow with my resume to apply.
Speaking of being out today, I walked my big arse off for sure! I did the normal walk to take my nephew to school (I have an arrangement with my brother that during his 2 weeks, I walk my nephew to and from school and watch him til my brother or his gf can pick him up), which takes me about 10 minutes. Then DH (who is off today and walked with us) and I walked another 10 minutes over to Ryan's foster mother's house (where Ryan was taking advantage of free laundry) to meet up with him. We then walked up to a small mall just up the road from Ryan's, about a 20-25 min walk.
We walked around the mall (takes about 5 mins to get from one side to the other). Wasted some time til Harvey's opened and then went and had lunch. I know, bad lunch and totally undoes the good of walking, but it's not going to throw my calorie intake out of whack as I am not snacking today (not hungry enough to snack really) and I didn't feel well, so I had a smaller than normal breakfast (still adequate though!). We then walked the 25 mins back to Ryan's and then DH and I walked the 20 mins back home from there.
I still have to walk 20 mins to pick up my nephew from school (that's to and from), so that'll be a grand total of approximately an hour and a half of walking for today. That's about double what I normally walk each day when I have my nephew. I'll be repeating the walk tomorrow to go hand out resumes too. So hopefully this'll help get me back on the weight loss path. Though technically I didn't do anything wrong (going up 5 pounds in a week is insane) to gain the weight, I still didn't do enough to lose my 1 pound for last week.
I have to end this here though, since it's time to go pick up my nephew from school. Hope the rest of you ladies are having a good day!
P.S. UPS just delivered a package for DH, and the delivery guy is one we've had before. Last time he wanted to pet my dog, Will, but he was being too shy. This time, he had a marrow bone treat in his pocket to give to Will. Will still wouldn't come near him, so the delivery guy rolled it into the apt for him. That has totally made my day! Love when delivery people treat the pets of people they're delivering to with such kindness!
Replies
A lot of that weight is probably just from bloating with water weight, so do not feel too bad about it. Yay for your last pills! Good luck!
Thanks! I don\'t feel that bad about the weight, I more feel bad that I let everything get to me last week and didn\'t go for my walks like I should have (I barely did anything last week).
Sorry about the weight, but water/bloating is a nasty bitch and easily shed. Don\'t beat yourself up by looking in the past, just make a mental note to do better in the future. I\'ve learned to embrace those \"nothing\" weeks, the week of AF is one, I wait for it, enjoy it and kick ass the other three weeks of the month. GUILT FREE!!!!
lol poly! It did just happen to be my period week, so I\'ll just have to follow your advice and chalk it up to being a period \'nothing\' week. I did kick ass today, an hour and a half of walking (all broken up into 10 or 20 min segments) and my body hates me, but it was nice to get out. I tend to rely on the bus too much lately, due to my feet being angry with me.
Next on my agenda is getting myself back into bike riding condition! I failed to reach my goal of riding around the nearby island last year, so I\'m trying to find something that will motivate me to keep that goal this year. It\'s an 18k trail at the shortest, so that\'s my goal. To be able to ride 18k without too many stops ( a few here and there for drinks or picture taking will be allowed!).