I feel it getting nearer

The time it takes for me to want to kill myself each time i feel it is getting shorter.
The thoughts are getting more frequent, more close together, more rationalised.
It starts to make an awful lot of sense that I hate myself and that there isn't an answer.
 
I'm beginning to question a lot of things about me, and the world I'm in.
 
It's my last exam tomorrow. Then everything will change.
I have some faith, but it wavers. I have more heart than anything else, but I can feel it crushing me.
 
I'm in pain. I'm struggling. I need to be loved.
I don't think the pills are working.