I dont understand

 I  have had sarcois for 6 years I have seen a lot of people with the same, but none like me I have nobody to talk to, I have 7 kids and only see one that is the last one. But I have a wife she says Iam lazy and dont care about anything. I have no boodies no freinds and my bills have risen to no catching up Iam a high school drop out and have no help and no one to talk to. I in pain 22hours a day the other two hours is when i sleep I feel suicidal all the time but will not take the easy way out I have no answer and  need some one to talk to