I dont think i can take this anymore

This is just way to hard. And way to depressing. Month after month my heart continues to get smashed over and over. I dont even know what to do now. I want more than anything to do invetro but i know my husband wont let us do that because we would go into debt. I could care less about money at this point. I have no hope any more. Im so weepy and emotinal right now. I just want to run away.