i dont know 1

ag im writing this to hear wats going on inside. I have feelings of self doubt, i dont know why. sometimes i look at the mirror and wonder who i have become. i do it daily. somehow the past 6 years were the worst. I dont even know if i can call them years. I dont want to be close to anyone. i dont want them to see me like i see myself. i dont want them to see the pain and have pain because of that. im really having a hard time. demons hauting me and gosts everywhere.
I dont understand why im schizo.
I think it happen and then the rest happend.
I wish I could go back in time. Get treatment earlier. I totally lost myself. I wouldnt say Im a bad person. Im just in pain, but i dont let anybody know. I pretend . I pretend alot.
today im really tired of this shit.
I feel alone because i pretend all the time, but i have made peace with it. I have never really writen a journal entry. Im just saying what i never say today
. talking to myself
 
peace celest