I dont know where to turn now
I woke up at 3am again just a couple of hours after falling asleep. I see your face in that hospital bed and I wonder if you cold. I went to the cemetary again yesterday to bring u some thanksgiving flowers and I put the angel from my car that I loved so much by your name.
The girls want me to have thanksgiving dinner here but I ache so badly inside and out and you know how sick I am with this lyme disease. I couldnt make the dinner when you were here so how will I do it alone? I have been driving the car just to feel a bit normal (and I know you are yelling at me that I am not allowed to drive) but I will go very slow and no highways, I promise.
Abbey girl misses you so much. She hears a noise in the bedroom and she stares as her ears go up. I know she is looking for you. She sleep against my stomach all night long now and I cannot even move. I wonder why your friends have not called me at all? It seems like they forgot me now that you are not here. I really could use them right now to help me with a few things around here. Guess I will try to handle it myself and see what happens.
I am going to try and get out while it is 70 degrees her in ny today! The leaves are almost all off the tree in front and it scares me to think of winter without you here to talk to. Please let me know somehow that you are ok and happy where you are. I love you too!!!!!!
The girls want me to have thanksgiving dinner here but I ache so badly inside and out and you know how sick I am with this lyme disease. I couldnt make the dinner when you were here so how will I do it alone? I have been driving the car just to feel a bit normal (and I know you are yelling at me that I am not allowed to drive) but I will go very slow and no highways, I promise.
Abbey girl misses you so much. She hears a noise in the bedroom and she stares as her ears go up. I know she is looking for you. She sleep against my stomach all night long now and I cannot even move. I wonder why your friends have not called me at all? It seems like they forgot me now that you are not here. I really could use them right now to help me with a few things around here. Guess I will try to handle it myself and see what happens.
I am going to try and get out while it is 70 degrees her in ny today! The leaves are almost all off the tree in front and it scares me to think of winter without you here to talk to. Please let me know somehow that you are ok and happy where you are. I love you too!!!!!!
Replies
I have to go to bed again. I am so exhausted but so afraid of waking up scared again tonight. Gonna try to stay calm and just talk to you. Please watch over me tonight and let me feel your arms around me so I can feel some peace. I love you always
Oh Joe, I went to see you again at the cemetary..Just checking that they are keeping everything nice for you theret. It is so peaceful and pretty with all the trees around.
I know you are hunting up there in heaven. This was your favorite time of the year!! I bet God lets you find a 12 point buck and this time you can \"see it\"! You always blamed the site on your rifles for your misses. I think it was my praying that you DID miss them all!!
I have a huge fight ahead of me with your family and I am sooo sorry. I know you said they would be hard but I never expected what has happened. I had to hire a lawyer and he said it will be nasty. Why am I angry at you that you didnt get the affairs in order and left me in such a mess. I am trying to stay calm and be nice but this is beyond my control now. Know that I love you very much and I miss you more than life itself. Keep watching over me and guide me to the right answers please.
I pray thanksgiving is incredible for you and you are at the table with us in spirit.I am thankful for you and all your love. ME~