I dont know what to do

i dont know what to do im always feeling like giving up. it seems like no one cares or understands anything anymore. my family gave up on me i have no friends. the anniversary of my moms death is in april. everybody blames me for doing something wrong to kill her when all i couldnt do is watch her die. they were all going to leave me to do it alone and i freaked out and ran away. i seem to try and do things right but always end up messing something up.