i dont know what my mood is so i will just pick one smily face

well i felt better after i prayed. and i felt even better yesterday night last night was a good night.today was going good till i found out that i was suppossed to turn in my papers hella long aggo.i aint trippin but i am.its hard fillin that shit out. im going to do it any way and im doing it tomarow.well ive already started and messed up.*irritated sigh*im happy, like no matter how frustrated i am i feel like i will have a very good day in court no matter how late my papers are.im tired of the negitave thoughts.they keep sworming in my head. round and a round they go.they wont stop they just flow and flow and flow, when i turn the fauset off it starts to rain, thoughts from botteled pain. disturbed at night in my room i wonder thoughts of brutal tourture. in and around my thoughts go sworm my body pases over the room. trying to transform in to somthing positive just makes things more impossible. nothing can calm me down nothign can really make me happy. i dont have any thing to my name not a penny. who can i call on while gods invisible who can i run to when life is misserable. why would i call someone who doesnt understand. why make friends if i already know their plan is to take advantage. i want to stop thinking about but still win my case but im afraid its not possible no matter what day in age. why cant somebody help me why am i all alone. how come my tears dont matter. how come god tells me its ok when he see's my crying everyday. why do i have to do everything my self why canty anyone help? why cant anybody do anything?! this is fucking stupid i feel better. writting a poem u can take never.