i dont know what i am anymore,,, what i should be

   All my life i have done everything i can to be treated as one of the guys, playing sports, hunting fishing stuff like that atving. i ve done it all and i have started to enjoy it...ive gone through so much hell most of my life becouse of the desions i have made to be more like a guy then a girl...ive accepted that desion and it was always part of me. but every word poeple said to me left a scar on my body, (my wrist) my soul and my heart. i was shattered for such a long time, but  slowly i got over it even through most poeples insults still hurt, but now i am at a crossroads either i have stay as dressing and acting like a guy or i have to start being a girl again and i dont know how to do that....i have to pick either wat i cant just keep walking this line i have been for so long. i am going to get so badly hurt