i dont know what happend
i was so happy, and even on yesterday. i went for a long wierd walk to mail my letters and went to an open mic and met a band.... i dont knwo where it all went wrong.i got in another serious arguement with my mom. youd think id felt better.i realized who my mom really is she's the devil and i started writing a story about her. then i ate kinda bad but i needed it i was hungry. it was really fatty.but today my acne isnt as clear im not happy as i was. and theres tons of stress. everybody keeps talkign about the stupid fucking econmy.my mom thinkns shes going to lose the house and she probably will. but i dont want her too.i just dont see why im so depressed i dont want to be. my life was really starting to look up. my skin was looking nice. i was just disapointed bc i couldnt use my positive enrgy for anything.then i started looking for lawyers and the really nice one i talked too seems as if he is going to use me for a thousand dollars. i doubt he will help me..... *sigh*why is this happening?!anywayz theres som issues with my court case they said somthign about its ot a real numebrwhat idiotts i think my paralegal started a new case which is not what i want to do.i feel like crying.my stupid dad is still here.i fucking hate my mom.i dont wish she would die but i think about it alot.i tell her to her face she should die. but i really hate her.she is a big part of why im in the perdicument im in now.my whole life is the way it is (negitavly) bc of her i hate her.she a stupid bitch.last night i told her when she dies her obituary will say she was a teacher who was really sweet to children all over the sate and treated her own child like shit.and its the truth. she used to leave me starving at home while she brings her class donuts for breakfast. what an ignornat bitch.i hate her i would never harm my children in anyway. its so sad i love me but noone els does. she doesnt have any faith in god or her self.she lets men steal from her and treat her like shit. im never going to be like that.one time my bf beat me up (not too long ago) she or my dad didnt do anythign of course. in fact my mom gave him my cell phone to call her. what a whore right?anywayz i kicked him the fuck out.it was a hard process but i got his ass out u feel me? youda thoguht my mom would learn form all that.my parents have been divorced since i was little my dad has 2 other wives but he chooses to live with my mom. the only reason i moved back here is bc of the raping incodent. i didnt have a choice but to move here. but i need her to keep the house bc my duck needs a place to live.im just really sad and im crying right now.this is fucked upi hate her shes a stupid bitch. and everybody makes it seem like its my fault i hate all of my family i was on my way moving out and never seeing them in my whole life ever again and then officer miller came along and fucked that up.