I dont know.

I don't really know what to do, I look in the mirror and i dont like wha i see at all. I see and ugly fat girl. I dont want to feel like this anymore, I want to be pretty. I want other people to see me as pretty. It doesnt seem like thats ever going to happen. people often pass me off as friends because of how i look, and are always nice and accepting to the person whos beautiful. I'm honestly so tired of this. Im tired of being scared of people leaving me, people replacing me, people making fun of me, people not treating me like im equal. I can tell they dont treat me like everyone else. Im just grouped in when theres compliments. nobody ever just wants to compliment me, its just so it doesnt look like theyre shutting me out. 
 
I'm feeling a bit helpless here. like i can only watch as it gets worse, i dont feel equal to people, I feel like everyone calls me beautiful out of pity. they dont actually see me as beautiful. im trying to be okay, im trying to be okay with my friends making new friends, im trying to be okay with myself. but, everytime i look in a mirror i hate what i see, i just wonder when im ever going to be enough and why im so worthless. i feel bad for the people who have to put up with me, im sorry.