i dont know

ive been finding the winter hard to deal with....it feels like theres nothing to do until the new year and i just feel alone and tired alot since my sleep has been broken most nights but im trying to stay positive its just hard i keep on falling into mood slumps where i just feel useless, depressed and isolated then i try to smile and force myself back to being myself and being happy or at the very least a lil cheerful im finding it hard to leave the house lately and i was doing so well before xmas.... i hate the fucking holidays so much i just want the new year to start so i can start trying to get my life together i hate just being in limbo.... i thought that writing this will make me feel better but it hasnt i just have to push myself i guess ....