I don't want to grow up .. **Crosses arms and pouts
I struggle with growing up. I know this sounds .. well immature. But seriously I don't want to grow up. But I do. I am past supposed transitional age. I am supposed to be a full blown adult now. 24 almost 25. In one year I have went from care free to stressed as hell about the future. I do not get it. How do I go from care free live and love and fun to straight anxiety levels of mid life crisis at 24. Is there such a thing as quarter life crisis?
How much of this anxiety is my own, and how much of this is me absorbing those around me. A year ago I would have considered my roommate and me so different. Our wants and goals, and likes and dislikes. And now A year later I find that our goals, likes, and wants, and worries are so similar now. Not that I am not myself. I just feel like I absorb those around me to one extant or another. And I am not sure if my concerns with my future are warranted and I am being responsible. Or if I have picked up neurotic boring adult tendencies from my roommate.I liked being different and care free. I liked being the tomboy who was not afraid to get muddy and camp and hike... I still hike and want to camp and am not afraid of mud, I guess in all reality my roommate has just helped me blend in with normal society. I never used to fit in to normal society and she has shown me how. It has not taken anything away from me it has added to me. Yet in doing so this has taken away some of my individuality.
I do not want to grow up to be one of those neurotic bitter angry worrisome woman. I want to always be care free and silly, like my dad and step dad.... well I guess I cant say my dad was care free...he killed himself... but damn he sure seemed care free... oh perspective you are a tricky bitch some times.
How much of this anxiety is my own, and how much of this is me absorbing those around me. A year ago I would have considered my roommate and me so different. Our wants and goals, and likes and dislikes. And now A year later I find that our goals, likes, and wants, and worries are so similar now. Not that I am not myself. I just feel like I absorb those around me to one extant or another. And I am not sure if my concerns with my future are warranted and I am being responsible. Or if I have picked up neurotic boring adult tendencies from my roommate.I liked being different and care free. I liked being the tomboy who was not afraid to get muddy and camp and hike... I still hike and want to camp and am not afraid of mud, I guess in all reality my roommate has just helped me blend in with normal society. I never used to fit in to normal society and she has shown me how. It has not taken anything away from me it has added to me. Yet in doing so this has taken away some of my individuality.
I do not want to grow up to be one of those neurotic bitter angry worrisome woman. I want to always be care free and silly, like my dad and step dad.... well I guess I cant say my dad was care free...he killed himself... but damn he sure seemed care free... oh perspective you are a tricky bitch some times.
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