I don't understand
he's been apologizing. The apologies make me cry. I asked him to stop. He's only apologizing because he was caught. If I hadn't seen his phone he'd still be doing what he was and I would be oblivious. He was silent after that. Some people like to know they're right. I wish I wasn't. I hate that I looked at his phone. I hate that he did this. The woman who knew he was married and had no shame what so ever texting and sending pictures to a married man. No thought about what that would do this marriage, but he's more to blame. He went looking for someone. She's the one who went along. My thoughts are all over the place. I've been sleeping. I normally will have a headache if I sleep past seven hrs. Today I slept for twelve hrs. I feel like I could sleep for days and still feel tired. Bone deep tired. Everything is exhausted. My body, my soul, my mind, my heart most of all. The worst is hearing him say sorry. That's the worst. Those words make me want to sleep and hide away from the world.
Replies
I"m sorry you are going through this Amanda. First thing is tell him to stop saying he's sorry, as it means nothing. Tell him how he needs to be around you, and tell him that nothing else will make you feel any better.
Have you been to see a doctor to get some tests done? I was the reverse, I couldn't sleep long at all, and would wake hours before I was supposed to. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything you are not able to. Have you considered asking him to sleep in another room, so you can have some private time for yourself? Are you drinking water? It's very important to stay hydrated.
I can't remember if it's been mentioned, but seeing a therapist for yourself alone, would be a good idea, to help you sort through your thoughts, and help make some sense of them. You've had your world map ripped out from under you, and nothing makes sense, and nothing is normal.
Wishing you well.