I don't think I can change my username....
So, here I am. I've been doing very well considering my mental state. I have been eating good and working out almost every day. I take breaks from the working out on the weekends.
Mentally - I still cry practically every day, but it's getting better. I still miss him. I miss him a lot. But, I haven't text him since last Saturday night. I said, "Going to hopefully drink you off my mind tonight." He didn't respond. So, maybe he thinks I did. It's so crazy to love someone so much that you want them to be happy - but then at the same time, hate them so much that you don't want them happy with someone else.
Sunday was hard. He came to get his dog that has lived here for 7 years. It was like him leaving again. My daughter and I both cried thinking one of our beloved dogs was gone for good. BUT, he brought him back. Thank goodness! I've been giving him extra treats ever since then! I didn't see the ex during either stop.
I have to say that even though Sunday was hard, something amazing was said that made me feel wonderful. And guess who said it? His very own grown son. I'm friends with his son's fiance who has helped me tremendously throughout this crisis of mine. She said that as she and his son were driving home that day from a family get together, his son said to her, "My dad is an idiot. I wish he'd get back with Sherri. She's much prettier than this new woman, anyway!" She said he just said that out of the blue. Bless his heart!!
So, here's the reason for the title to this entry. I believe I have read on here that once you have your username, it can't be changed. I created my username years ago in the midst of our relationship - thus ME AND ROBBY. And being the strong, independent woman I'm wanting to be, I should change it to something like Goodwithouthim or Robbywho?. Or even leave him out of the equation all together. But, you know what's sad? Even if I could change it, I can't yet. I still want it to be MeandRobby.
My wish is to one day believe all that I'm reading and hearing about me being better off without him and finding someone who will make me realize we didn't work out for a better reason. And if that day ever comes, I hope to be able to help someone else who is feeling like me. Dumb for missing him. An idiot for trying to win him back. A loser for not being able to win him back when everyone else says he's the loser. And mostly to help those that are feeling like their heart could never in a million years hurt like this.
And for anyone who might read this - Please, send me some hugs. I could use them.
Mentally - I still cry practically every day, but it's getting better. I still miss him. I miss him a lot. But, I haven't text him since last Saturday night. I said, "Going to hopefully drink you off my mind tonight." He didn't respond. So, maybe he thinks I did. It's so crazy to love someone so much that you want them to be happy - but then at the same time, hate them so much that you don't want them happy with someone else.
Sunday was hard. He came to get his dog that has lived here for 7 years. It was like him leaving again. My daughter and I both cried thinking one of our beloved dogs was gone for good. BUT, he brought him back. Thank goodness! I've been giving him extra treats ever since then! I didn't see the ex during either stop.
I have to say that even though Sunday was hard, something amazing was said that made me feel wonderful. And guess who said it? His very own grown son. I'm friends with his son's fiance who has helped me tremendously throughout this crisis of mine. She said that as she and his son were driving home that day from a family get together, his son said to her, "My dad is an idiot. I wish he'd get back with Sherri. She's much prettier than this new woman, anyway!" She said he just said that out of the blue. Bless his heart!!
So, here's the reason for the title to this entry. I believe I have read on here that once you have your username, it can't be changed. I created my username years ago in the midst of our relationship - thus ME AND ROBBY. And being the strong, independent woman I'm wanting to be, I should change it to something like Goodwithouthim or Robbywho?. Or even leave him out of the equation all together. But, you know what's sad? Even if I could change it, I can't yet. I still want it to be MeandRobby.
My wish is to one day believe all that I'm reading and hearing about me being better off without him and finding someone who will make me realize we didn't work out for a better reason. And if that day ever comes, I hope to be able to help someone else who is feeling like me. Dumb for missing him. An idiot for trying to win him back. A loser for not being able to win him back when everyone else says he's the loser. And mostly to help those that are feeling like their heart could never in a million years hurt like this.
And for anyone who might read this - Please, send me some hugs. I could use them.
Replies
Hi, it\'s good you are writing, and taking time to express your feelings, and emotions. it\'s what our journals are all about, especially when we are experiencing rough times. i know what you are going through, is very devastating, and right now it seems like there\'s a mountain to climb, but you will reach that point, you mentioned, when you are free from your ex, and have moved on, to better, happier, and more peaceful days. no matter how long it takes, always find comfort and uplifting support here, anytime you need us all. the group, and also your journal, are great outlets to share, and to help cope, through these times. we all will become stronger, and it truly is like a freedom journey. my dear friend told me that, and it\'s very true. of course, when you have moved on, and are feeling balanced, and ready for new journey in your life, all of these experiences of the past, you will see as a learning experience. i know how hard it is, to miss someone, and them suddenly not in our lives anymore. my girlfriend of over 3 years, left me suddenly, without explanation, and never spoke a word to me again, and this was 12 hours after she told me i have her heart, c+h forever, and that she loves me. i know she has mental illness, that may have contributed to her abandoning me, but it\'s still cold and cruel how she did it, and i am only 7 weeks into my healing journey, but i find lots of comfort, and support here. :) remember you aren\'t alone, and continue to take good care of your health. :) we all care :)