I don't need to be

I awoke again today and I did not wish to. Like a drill sergeant my cat sounds the trumpet and yells at me. Get up you lazy sob! Give me my food! You good for nothing Replace my water! Clean my sh__!!!!!!! You like that dont you!! Say you like it!!!!! Yes drill sergeant, thank you drill sergeant. I suppose I should be thanking him? As worthless as I feel the purpose is, I am up and going through motions. It at least looks as though my body is animate. Though I cant help but look at my cat and weigh the situation of the game. Its fourth and long at this point itd take a hail mary just to get a first to keep the drive alive. Probably best just to punt the cat as far as I can and hope my defense can hold.

I really do not like the sight of morning. I wish my suffering could end. I have no inspiration to take care of my temple. I abuse my body because I have no reason to maintain it. No visitors seeking a tour, no tourists wanting photos, no followers making pilgrimages, no listeners aching for my words. I am wasting away and nobody cares. This world does not care. I am struggling to find meaning. I am becoming more hideous with each glance in the mirror. I am powerless to find cause to fight the corrosion. I just simply let the weeds take control as the jungle swallows my once flourishing soul. It would take an adventurous explorer to rediscover any brilliance left in me, a courageous architect to rebuild. I have little hope anyone could see the importance of keeping my spirit alive. I dont wish to be here anymore.