I Don't Know When It Happened
The following poem was written by Christine Ross for her son Luke. I have noticed lately that I seem more able to smile... I hurt... I will always hurt... I have come to believe that is just part of my normal... and I know for many of you it is the same... but blessedly I believe that I am letting the joy outweigh the pain.. There was a time I would never have thought this day would come.. actually I might have been offended if someone had told me it would... now I'm just grateful I can remember the good more than the bad... This poem speaks so well my heart. Hugs Elissa Cara's Mom For Always
I'M NOT SURE WHEN IT HAPPENED
By Christine Ross
I'm not sure when it happened But I do know that it's real. Somewhere between then and now Something changed the way I feel. I don't cry every single day But these eyes of mine still cry. And I don't have a need to ask That same old question 'why?' To know he lived a good life Has given me some peace. And I've accepted that he died But his spirit never ceased. Passing years erased the anger Of loosing what was mine By receiving lots of comfort Knowing that... "it was his time". The nights have been more gentle. The dawn has turned to day. I've finally embraced this pain That will never go away. Realizing I can't change things I have buried all my guilt. I've forgiven all the others That didn't know the way I felt. I've learned to live without him, Just because I've had no choice. His pictures bring me happiness Just like the memory of his voice. I've heard his laughter in my own Although I thought I never would. I've seen his smile in my own smile Although I thought I never could. That stabbing pain within my heart Has turned into a dulling ache. The breath I used to gasp for Has quieted to a slower pace. Those deep dark thoughts that haunted me, The ones of death and fear and time, Have found a special place to hide In the corners of my mind. I don't know when it happened But I know I'm glad it did. I have found the "peace in knowing" That he died, but that... HE LIVED!
Written by Christine Ross 2008
In Memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979-2001
I'M NOT SURE WHEN IT HAPPENED
By Christine Ross
I'm not sure when it happened But I do know that it's real. Somewhere between then and now Something changed the way I feel. I don't cry every single day But these eyes of mine still cry. And I don't have a need to ask That same old question 'why?' To know he lived a good life Has given me some peace. And I've accepted that he died But his spirit never ceased. Passing years erased the anger Of loosing what was mine By receiving lots of comfort Knowing that... "it was his time". The nights have been more gentle. The dawn has turned to day. I've finally embraced this pain That will never go away. Realizing I can't change things I have buried all my guilt. I've forgiven all the others That didn't know the way I felt. I've learned to live without him, Just because I've had no choice. His pictures bring me happiness Just like the memory of his voice. I've heard his laughter in my own Although I thought I never would. I've seen his smile in my own smile Although I thought I never could. That stabbing pain within my heart Has turned into a dulling ache. The breath I used to gasp for Has quieted to a slower pace. Those deep dark thoughts that haunted me, The ones of death and fear and time, Have found a special place to hide In the corners of my mind. I don't know when it happened But I know I'm glad it did. I have found the "peace in knowing" That he died, but that... HE LIVED!
Written by Christine Ross 2008
In Memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979-2001
Replies
Elissa, this is filled with hope and I thank you for sharing it and also where you find yourself today on this path. To begin to notice these subtle changes within ourselves is life affirming and sometimes we are not even sure when it did happen yet so grateful that it can and is... Love to you, Joanie
It\'s a very beautiful poem and tells all of us, which some of us know already, that grieving loses it\'s grip on us a little at a time, but we never forget the love we shared for our child, who we will always hold close in our hearts. Thanks for sharing this very \"from the heart\" mother\'s poem. Sincerely, BarbaraWawa
I am so glad that you are finding your way...I love the poem...it made me cry...but I loved it...love and hugs to you...Karen
I haven\'t read this before....so I thank you for sharing it. I can say it truly speaks for how I\'m feeling today also. \"I don\'t know when it happened, but I know I\'m glad it did\"...... I\'m so thankful for the healing which has come into my heart.
Made my tears fall, I\'m trying so hard to get there. Might be pushing too hard, thank you Elissa, for sharing this with me and my heart. You\'ve always helped me and your words inspire me. Hugs and love, Lynette