I don't know what to do next, any advice?
I'm in a strange place at the moment, and I should probably define it before I take another step. I moved in with my ex a few days ago. I'm living with a man who for the past four years has taken me on a roller coaster ride of love and pain. Moments he loves me, at times he is a stranger I share a bed with. I've decided this will be the last time I live in this house. I'm struggling with what step to take next. Should I move in to a relatives until I can find a place? Should I stay here in the meantime just to avoid moving my stuff to my sister's where I know I'm not wanted? I want to stay here, it's my comfort zone. I want to be able to stay here until I've made my next move without him changing his mind and trying to talk me into being with him again. Since our last fight, we haven't spoken about what we're doing. He crossed the line and disrespected me and I've simply decided this is it. I don't know what he's thinking, or what he wants. I want to be happy. I want him out of my mind and heart for good. Even if he's still in my life. Maybe staying here is a way of disguising my hope for reconciliation. He hasn't asked me to leave, and he's sleeping on the couch. I don't want to talk until I've had time to think about what I really want. Has anyone been this confused?
Replies
I was with a really abusive guy for about 3 years. We lived together as well. Same story as yours, he\'d do something horrible, we\'d fight, he\'d sleep on the couch, etc.
It took a long time, but one day out of the blue, I just called a gf and said i wanted out. She left work, came over, and we packed all my stuff and he came home to a half empty apartment. I stayed with her until I found a place.
It sounds like you are both at the point where its over, but you\'re both comfortable and don\'t want to take that step to end it. Its hard, but if you\'re that confused, do you think its going to get any better? Unless you both address the core of your problems you\'d just end up going in cycles (break up, get back together, break up, etc).
Do you have anyone you can stay with? Maybe a couple nights here, a couple nights there? Or if worse comes to worse, stay there until you find a place. I don\'t know, I hope that helps. Good luck!