I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN!...
Well, I do...but I don't...I screamed and yelled and asked GOD for help last night because I really didn't know what to do...
The way I see it...my life is just falling apart...but when I look again, it's not...is that confusing?
Let me try to explain, if I can...here is what I said yesterday when my "spousal equivalent" left to go get himself something to eat...
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...I AM GOING CRAZY...I CAN'T DO THIS!!! PLEASE GOD HELP ME...MY SON GREW UP AND LEFT HOME (I understand that and it's ok, he's really the only positive thing in my life right now, it's just the loss of control that is driving me crazy)...MY 2nd MARRIAGE IS FAILING, AGAIN!!!...AND NOW! MY 94 Y/0 MOTHER IS REFUSING PHYSICAL THERAPY AFTER A FALL AND HIP FRACTURE!!! AND NO I DON'T HAVE POWER OF ATTORNEY!!!!....MY MOM IS SUFFERING AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! THAT IS WHAT IS REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY....NOT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT THAT I CAN'T DO IT!!!!....IT IS TOO HARD!!!!!!.....
So...I spent a good 3 to 5 minutes crying out GOD in the privacy of my own home...then I went to see to my mom...and she told me she was dying...and she was tired...I took my meds...and told her I was going home to sleep and I would be back early today...and I went home and went to sleep...and just let God handle all of this crap...
I slept till around 11:30...haven't done a darn thing...except worry...the only good bit of news is that right before I started writing this, I got a call from the Hospital social worker that my mom agreed to therapy this morning...and is going to be recommended to a Skilled Nursing Rehab Facility. The only thing I can say at this point is...THANK GOD!
Now, I am off to see what other stuff I can get done...which isn't really much because I can't focus on any one thing for too long...my blood pressure is down to normal today, but I am constantly shaking and nervous and ANXIOUS!!! and I hate this!!!!
The way I see it...my life is just falling apart...but when I look again, it's not...is that confusing?
Let me try to explain, if I can...here is what I said yesterday when my "spousal equivalent" left to go get himself something to eat...
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...I AM GOING CRAZY...I CAN'T DO THIS!!! PLEASE GOD HELP ME...MY SON GREW UP AND LEFT HOME (I understand that and it's ok, he's really the only positive thing in my life right now, it's just the loss of control that is driving me crazy)...MY 2nd MARRIAGE IS FAILING, AGAIN!!!...AND NOW! MY 94 Y/0 MOTHER IS REFUSING PHYSICAL THERAPY AFTER A FALL AND HIP FRACTURE!!! AND NO I DON'T HAVE POWER OF ATTORNEY!!!!....MY MOM IS SUFFERING AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! THAT IS WHAT IS REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY....NOT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT THAT I CAN'T DO IT!!!!....IT IS TOO HARD!!!!!!.....
So...I spent a good 3 to 5 minutes crying out GOD in the privacy of my own home...then I went to see to my mom...and she told me she was dying...and she was tired...I took my meds...and told her I was going home to sleep and I would be back early today...and I went home and went to sleep...and just let God handle all of this crap...
I slept till around 11:30...haven't done a darn thing...except worry...the only good bit of news is that right before I started writing this, I got a call from the Hospital social worker that my mom agreed to therapy this morning...and is going to be recommended to a Skilled Nursing Rehab Facility. The only thing I can say at this point is...THANK GOD!
Now, I am off to see what other stuff I can get done...which isn't really much because I can't focus on any one thing for too long...my blood pressure is down to normal today, but I am constantly shaking and nervous and ANXIOUS!!! and I hate this!!!!
Replies
I\'m so glad your prayer\'s were answered. PRAISE THE LORD! I\'m also very thankful, greatful that your mom didn\'t pass. I\'m so happy she choose or was convinced that she needed help.
I will pray for you both
JIm your friend