I don’t know what i’m doing

Right now I recently came out of a very broken and toxic relationship. He was an important figure in my life, but the constant cheating and lying and explosive anger and the spitefulness just cut me down more and more. He ended up getting another girl pregnant and that’s when I could not handle it anymore... as I am unsure whether or not I can have children of my own. 

I still tried to be friends with him, but he constantly mentioned how he wanted to die or he would make little comments that would make it seem as though he was upset that I had had some good things happen to me. Then I met my current boyfriend and my ex was not please, but I couldn’t understand why. Needless to say I ended contact with ihm after I found out more lies he told me; then I saw the baby photo and broke down. I haven’t really been the same since. My current boyfriend is very sweet and understanding and wants me to take my time, but this is hard. This is really difficult. I cry and upset spontaneously. I can’t think straight. Nothing is making me happy anymore and I just don’t know what to do. 

I’m sorry for this being so long.