i don't get people sometimes.
i just don't get people sometimes. why can't people just own up to it when they know they are wrong???? cuz its just so frustrating to know that you didn't do anything wrong that the other person was so in the wrong! i am at the point now where i am starting to just give up on people all together! i really am cuz this is just so stupid its not even funny. im just so fired up right now im so annoyed. so the only thing i can do is just to not to to this person anymore if she is not going to own up to what she knows she did wrong!!! this time it wasn't my mentor friend, before it was my mentor friend but now its someone else. will this ever end??? why is it that with everyone i come across everyone thinks they can just walk all over me. well its stops now!!!!!!!!!!!
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People only see what they want to see. They do not believe they are doing anything wrong. Perception is reality. I am sorry you have come across an other person that sucks.
Hi StaryNiteSky,
I think one reason some folks don\'t own-up is that doing so for them means taking responsibility, humility and then having to fix/repair. It might also be an indicator of a damaged ego what cannot healthfully own-up to an action or see something from another person\'s perspective.
I wonder if folks who avoid owning-up actually don\'t know how to own-up in a healthful way. Instead they overdo owning-up.
I\'ve done this plenty, and, yes, it\'s an old childhood program of polar reaction. If one thing is my fault, then everything is my fault. If one thing I\'ve done is/was bad, then all of me is bad. Etc., etc.
It\'s surprising to me how many folks don\'t seem to know how to own without over-owning. And because they don\'t know how to own without overdoing it, they won\'t own anything at all.
I do believe that\'s part of where my fears of and avoiding commitments comes from, that inherent expectation of failure. I try not to set myself up with any commitment, or keep it severely open-ended so I don\'t trap myself into something I\'ll no doubt regret later.
I think setting boundaries is one of those important things we need to do for ourselves, even moreso for those of us who were raised essentially to be doormats. The message in those times might have come across something like, \"unless you let someone walk all over and take advantage of you, you\'re bad and no one will stay and you\'ll be left all alone.\" Fear conditioning, I believe it\'s called?
My heart\'s compassion is going out to you right now in your coping with this.
\'An it harm none, Blessed Be.
Toni~AyniaNightFish...
thank u guys :) it has been really frustrating for me. i hope that i can come across some better people in my area but im thinking of just staying with online people.